Talking with your partner

    • Brief

    • Everybody has different expectations and wishes, and every relationship is different. However, it is essential that both partners can freely express their feelings, desires and thoughts. Even if there are problems in their relationship or problems in their sex life, they should talk about it.

    • What to talk about with each other

    • Showing your partner how you feel can help you start to talk with each other. You can talk about many things with your partner. For example:

      • Your dreams and plans for the future.
      • Activities you would like to do.
      • Things you like about your partner.
      • Having children now, later or never.
      • Your desires, fantasies and feelings: what you like and what you do not like in your sex life, techniques, jealousy, etc.
      • Your frustrations and irritations: what you do not want in your relationship, your limits.
      • Safe sex: the use of condoms and other contraception.
    • How to talk with each other

    • If you talk about sex or your relationship with your partner:

      • Choose a moment when you have sufficient time to talk.
      • Try not to blame or accuse each other.
      • Stay concrete (stick to facts) to avoid misunderstandings.
      • Show respect for your partner.
      • Talk about your own feelings and wishes and your understanding of things.

      Talking about intimate subjects with your partner can be a bit difficult at first. If it is too difficult to talk with your partner, try to talk with someone you can trust or ask for professional help (e.g. marriage or relationship counselor, sexual therapist).