Partner violence is any form of violence between two people who have an emotional and/or sexual bond or relationship. Partner violence often shows that there is no equality between the partners.
Partner violence is forbidden by law. Partner violence can happen in all classes and cultures of society.
There are four kinds of partner violence:
- Psychological violence, for example insults, humiliation, threats or ignoring your partner.
- Physical violence, for example hitting, slapping, treating roughly, forcing your partner to perform or undergo harmful acts (such as taking a bath that is too hot).
- Sexual violence, for example forcing your partner to have sex (rape), forcing them to watch pornography.
- Economic violence, for example deciding what to do with your or your partner’s money against their will, providing insufficient household money, denying them necessary material goods.
If a discussion threatens to become violent, go to a safe place, even for a little while. Once you are safe, you can think about what you need and what you can do.
It is hard to solve partner violence on your own. Partner violence is likely to happen more than once. Get in touch with professional services, like your healthcare provider, the police or crisis care centres. If you want, you can ask a person you trust to accompany you. You can also call the helpline for partner violence (Lagos State Domestic Violence Response Team, 0800 033 3333).
Professionals will listen to you without judging you. They also respect your privacy.
If you want to end the violence, you do not necessarily have to end your relationship or leave your partner. Whatever decision you make, always think about your own (and your children’s) safety and wellbeing.
If you feel less self-confident, guilty or ashamed, do not blame yourself. These feelings often result from partner violence.
If you are an offender, you can find help to stop you from repeating partner violence in the future. Look for professional help, for example, the Men Help Centre 0802 888 28282.