When a man ejaculate (releases) earlier than he and his partner would like during vaginal penetration, this is known as premature ejaculation. It is the most common sexual dysfunction in men and affects other aspects of a relationship. Mental health problems, physical disease (like uncontrolled diabetes or hypertension), and some medicines can cause or worsen premature ejaculation.
Ejaculation is usually accompanied by the release of semen from the penis when the man reaches his limits of sexual stimulation. It is generally followed by a short period when sexual stimulation does not result in a firm erection.
Most men last up to 5 to 10 minutes of continued vaginal penetration before ejaculating. This time reduces with age.
There is no standard way to determine premature ejaculation since the time it takes a man to climax varies from one person to the next. However, if you often release within one minute of starting vaginal penetration, cannot delay ejaculation, or begin to avoid sex because of these problems, your healthcare provider will probably diagnose you with premature ejaculation.
The condition can strain your relationship, affect your self-esteem, and cause depression. Premature ejaculation is treatable. With medicines, talk therapy, and other techniques, you can learn to control your ejaculation and improve the quality of your sex life. Your healthcare provider will recommend the most effective treatment for your premature ejaculation.
There are several things you can do yourself to improve your condition.
Foreplay is often an essential part of sex because it gets the sexual partners in the right mood. Extending foreplay with your partner can stimulate your partner to almost climax before you begin penetration.
You and your partner can safely and healthily try what you are comfortable with, from kissing to touching, from stroking to oral sex. More women are likely to reach orgasm from stimulating two or more sexual areas (erogenous zones) than concentrating only on vaginal penetration.
Although foreplay will not likely increase your staying time during vaginal penetration, it will increase the likelihood that you and your partner will be satisfied. You can learn more about foreplay by reading about kinds of sex in this post.
Condoms are essential for safe sex, but they can also help you delay ejaculation by reducing the sensitivity of your penis during sexual intercourse and delaying ejaculation for longer. Some condoms may also contain medicines that reduce the sensitivity of your glans (the tip of the penis).
If your partner is allergic to latex, then choose condoms that are made from other materials. Read more in the types of condoms post.
For condoms to work as they are designed, you must use them correctly. Condoms are fragile but effective. Store them appropriately, do not use expired products and do not open them with your teeth. To learn more about using a condom correctly, read about how to use condoms.
3. Kegel exercises (pelvic floor exercises)
To stop yourself from ejaculating too early, use the same group of muscles you use to stop urinating. These are called pelvic floor muscles in both men and women. They may be weak, but they can be trained with exercises. You can train these muscles by doing Kegel exercises, repetitive movements that strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.
To do Kegels:
- Find the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, you can do the exercises in any position, although you might find it easier to do them lying down at first.
- Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, and then relax over the same period. Try it a few times in a row. Try Kegel exercises while sitting, standing, or walking when your muscles get stronger.
- Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs, or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.
4. Pause-squeeze technique
This method to delay premature ejaculation works by suppressing your urge to ejaculate. Follow the following steps during sex:
- Start sex as usual with foreplay and carry on to vaginal penetration until you feel almost ready to ejaculate.
- Then ask your partner to squeeze the end of your penis to the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft. Keep the pressure on until the urge to ejaculate passes. This may take several seconds. You can also apply the technique yourself. Use your index finger to stimulate your partner while your thumb and little finger squeeze your penis.
- Repeat this process until both of you are satisfied.
If you feel pain or discomfort, vary the squeezing pressure. If this is still uncomfortable, you can try stopping sexual stimulation altogether and waiting until the urge to ejaculate goes away.
This pause-squeeze method can help you develop the ability to delay ejaculation over time.
After ejaculating, most men enter a phase during which they can achieve an erection but do not ejaculate as quickly as before. Masturbating till you release an hour or two before intercourse with your partner can help you delay ejaculation during vaginal sex. This method takes advantage of your body’s biology. Mutual masturbation can be a way to increase intimacy between you and your partner.
Bringing it all together with open communication or talk therapy
Premature ejaculation may result in feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression. This can make you feel alone and isolated. This feeling can worsen your condition and make you begin to avoid sex altogether.
Your partner may be upset with the change in sexual intimacy. Premature ejaculation can cause partners to feel less connected or hurt. Talking about this openly can make you both become more understanding of the condition and may relieve the performance stress on yourself. It can also help partners moderate their expectations and be more collaborative in practising techniques together.
Talking about the problem is essential, and relationship counselling or sex therapy may be helpful. Your healthcare provider can refer you for such care, or you can get an appointment through a reproductive health clinic in our hospital section.
Treating premature ejaculation will require you and your partner to be patient, work closely with your healthcare provider and communicate openly. Premature ejaculation usually has two or more causes. Addressing them takes time and effort. If you feel the condition is worsening or not improving, speak with your healthcare provider.