Delayed ejaculation

How long men can last in bed is a vital topic to them and their partners. While some men are concerned about finishing or ejaculating early, others can have sex for prolonged periods without ejaculating. Delayed ejaculation is when it takes more than 30 minutes of sexual activity to come.

Although it is not as common as rapid ejaculation, delayed ejaculation can be just as frustrating for men and their partners. It can affect sexual satisfaction for the man and also cause their partners to feel sore or exhausted.

There are many causes of delayed ejaculation, most of them are in the mind such as:

• Fear of not meeting your partner's expectations.
• Mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.
• Stress, lack of communication or loss of interest in the relationship.
• A contrast between a couple’s sexual fantasy and the reality of having sex.

You should see a doctor if:

• Delayed ejaculation happens consistently.
• It is bothering you or your partner.
• Sex starts to feel like a chore, and you try to avoid it.
• You are trying to have a baby.

The following are ways to prevent delayed ejaculation:

• Avoid sex stimulants and things that promise to make you last longer.
• Reduce the use of alcohol and recreational drugs.
• Discuss sexual fantasies and preferences with your partner.

Self-care tips

The following are things you can do at home before seeing a healthcare provider:

• You can use sex toys like vibrators to increase sexual stimulation.
• Resolve any pending disagreements or anger with your partner.
• Lubricants and jellies can help make sex more pleasurable and comfortable.
• The symptoms may be due to a new drugs that you are using. Visit your healthcare provider to discuss this possibility.

Treatment options

There are several treatments available for delayed ejaculation. Your provider may recommend one or more of the following depending on what is causing your condition:

• Sex therapy: a therapist will use a combination of talking and different techniques to treat the problem. You may have to do some of these techniques while having sex with your partner. Sex therapy does not involve doing sexual acts with the therapist or in front of them. They can get all the information they need about your sex life by speaking to you and sometimes your partner.
• Drug adjustments: your provider may stop, reduce or replace some of your drugs if these drugs are causing delayed ejaculation.
• Hormone replacements: testosterone or thyroid hormones can treat delayed ejaculation in people with low levels of these hormones.
• If you have an obstruction to semen flow or a brain tumour, your provider may recommend surgery to remove them.

Contrary to popular culture, longer sex doesn’t always mean better sex. Delayed ejaculation is a real problem for many men. Even though this problem is treatable, most people affected would rather stay silent about it. As a result, it may affect their self-esteem, relationships and marriages. You should always speak up, and sometimes speak to a healthcare provider, if you are having sexual issues. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is normal to want to have good sex.